Even though we need a license to do many things in life-everything from driving and operating a forklift to practicing medicine and fishing-there is no license required when it comes to parenting.
And parenting today is far more difficult than it was only a generation ago. Most well intentioned parents are using outdated and ineffective parenting styles. As a result, many parents experience daily frustration and stress in their home.
Below you will find my top 7 tips for good parenting that inspire children to want to be well behaved and can massively reduce family stress and boost family joy.
Parenting Tip #1 - If you love your kids-put yourself first!
One of the best things we can do for our children is to give them the gift of being a happy and healthy adult. Self-care should not be a luxury for parents but needs to become a necessity for being a good parent and a healthy and balanced human being. Far too many children are living with parents who are stressed out. If you are repeatedly burning the midnight oil, you may be on the brink of parent burnout-not a pleasant thing for you or your family to experience.
Parenting Tip #2 - If married-put your marriage before your kids!
Most of us have heard of Generation X and Generation Y. But did you realize that Generation S-Generation Spoiled-is on the rise? Many children today are raised with an unhealthy sense of entitlement because their parents have made them the center of the universe. And with divorce statistics still hovering at 50%, children are far too often coping with unhappy, failing marriages and divorce. Take a stand and put some time into your marriage (like go on a date night!)-for your family's sake!
Parenting Tip #3 - Cherish your children.
No matter what your situation-no matter how often your children drive you crazy-know there are thousands of people in this world who would gladly trade places with you. There are couples who would give anything to have a child. Strive to remember how truly fortunate you are. Hug your children at least three times a day. Tell them often how grateful you are to have the opportunity to be their parent.
Parenting Tip #4 - Teach your kids to fish-don't fish for them.
Many parents do everything for their kids. This only robs their children of the opportunity to learn self-reliance-a vital key to their self-esteem. One of the best things you can do is to help your kids learn how to do for themselves. Chapter seven of my first book is called "How To Get Your Kids Doing Their Chores Smiling". Some parents think I am from another planet when I even suggest that kids can learn to do chores with a smile on their face. But then they are happily surprised when they see it is possible. Household chores teach basic life skills everyone needs to know. And chores give children the opportunity to contribute to the household in a positive way. Watch your kids flourish when you guide them to contribute in meaningful ways to you and your family.
Parenting Tip #5 - Focus on what you like, not on what you don't.
If children aren't being appreciated and aren't getting attention for what they do well-and when they behave well-you better believe they will learn to get attention for not behaving well! The more you notice what you like about what they're doing, the more you will inspire your child to repeat their good behaviors and achievements.
Parenting Tip #6 - Give respect and respect it in return.
Don't do anything to your child that you wouldn't want your child to do to you. The list of things you don't want to be doing includes: yelling, hitting, spitting, making fun of people and putting others down. There are far better ways for you to handle conflict, stress and common misbehaviors. Commit to learning these "Ultimate Parenting" tools that are based on mutual respect.
Parenting Tip #7 - A family that plays together stays together!
Have fun-play with your kids! Laughing, tickling, and playing together is the foundation of a happy home. Having fun can go a long way in providing your family with much needed quality time and in preventing much of the needless conflict and behaviors that drive you crazy. Children who experience a regular dose of quality time with their parents do not need to act out to get their attention.
These parenting tips are child-proofed, effective and fun. By taking the time to learn how to bring out the best in you and your children you will reap the reward peace of mind-knowing that you did all you could to support and nurture a happy and healthy family life.
