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Even though we need
a license to do many things in life — everything from driving
and operating a forklift to practicing medicine and fishing —
there is no license required to become a parent and this is
often the trickiest of all of the above activities!
Parenting today is far more difficult than it was, even a
generation ago. Many well-intentioned parents are using outdated
and ineffective parenting styles. As a result, they experience
daily frustration and stress in their home.
Below you will
find my top 7 tips for good parenting. These tips inspire
children to want to be well behaved, can reduce family fights
and boost family joy.
Good
Parenting Tip #1 – If you love your kids—put yourself first!
One of the best things we can do for our
children is to give them a foundation for becoming a happy and
healthy adult. Self-care should not be a luxury for parents—it
needs to become a necessity. You need self-care both for being a
good parent and a healthy and balanced human being. Far too many
children are living with parents who are stressed out and
frankly, not at all fun to be around. If you are repeatedly
burning the midnight oil, you may be on the brink of parent
burnout—not a pleasant thing for you or your family to
experience.
Good
Parenting Tip #2 – If married—put your marriage before your
kids!
Most of us have heard of Generation X and Generation Y. But did
you realize that Generation S—Generation Spoiled—is on the rise?
Many children today are raised with an unhealthy sense of
entitlement because their parents have made them the center of
the universe. With divorce statistics still hovering around 50%,
children are far too often coping with unhappy, failing
marriages and divorce– much worse for them than missing out on a
couple of toys or brand name jeans. Take a stand and put some
time into your marriage (like go on a date night)—for your whole
family’s sake!
Good
Parenting Tip #3 – Cherish your children
No matter what your situation—no matter how often your children
drive you crazy—know there are thousands of people in this world
who would gladly trade places with you. There are couples who
would give anything to just have a child. Strive to remember how
truly fortunate you are. Hug your children at least three times
a day. Regularly tell them how grateful you are to have the
opportunity to be their parent.
Good
Parenting Tip #4 – Teach your kids to fish—don’t fish for them!
Many parents do everything for their kids. This only robs their
children of the opportunity to learn self-reliance—which is
vital to building their self-esteem. One of the best things you
can do is to help your kids learn how to do things for
themselves. One of the chapters of my first book on effective
parenting is called "How To Get Your Kids Doing Their Chores
Smiling". Some parents think I am from another planet when I
even suggest that kids can learn to do chores with a smile on
their face. These same doubting parents are often happily
surprised when they see it is possible—in their own home and in
this century! Household chores teach basic life skills everyone
needs to know. Also, chores give children the opportunity to
contribute to the household in a positive and meaningful way.
Good
Parenting Tip #5 – Focus on what you like, not on what you don’t
If children aren't being appreciated and aren't getting
attention for what they do well—and when they behave well—you
better believe they will learn to get attention for not behaving
well. The more you notice what you like about what they're
doing, the less likely they are to morph into destructive little
terrors and the more likely you will inspire your child to
repeat the good behaviors and achievements you love.
Good
Parenting Tip #6 – Give respect and expect it in return
Don’t do anything to your child that you wouldn’t want your
child to do to you. The list of things you don’t want to be
doing includes: yelling, hitting, spitting, and put downs. There
are far better ways for you to handle conflict, stress and
common misbehaviors. Commit to learning these “Ultimate
Parenting” tools that are based on mutual respect—not fear based
punishment that only teaches our kids to not get caught next
time!
Good
Parenting Tip #7 – A family that plays together stays together!
Have fun—play with your kids. Laughing, tickling, and enjoying
one another’s company is the foundation of a happy home. Having
fun can go a long way towards preventing much of the needless
conflict and behaviors that drive you crazy. It also provides
your family with much needed quality time.
These seven effective parenting tips above are child-proofed,
effective and fun. By taking the time to learn how to bring out
the best in you and in your children, you will reap the rewards
that come from the peace of mind—knowing that you did all you
could to support and nurture a happy and healthy family life.
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Kelly Nault, MA award winning parenting of When You’re
About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You
inspires moms to put themselves first—for the sake of their
children. She shares time-tested tools that motivate children to
want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! Sign up for her
free online parenting course here.
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