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You May Be Teaching Your Kids to NOT Listen to You and Not Even Know It!
By Kelly Nault, M.A.

Do you HAVE to repeat yourself before your child responds? Does your child suddenly become hearing impaired when you're around? Ever find yourself asking, "DID YOU HEAR ME?"

Reminders are given regularly by most parents. In fact, most children only respond to an exasperated, "IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME!"

Parents are usually surprised to find that reminding children actually (gulp!) teaches kids to NOT listen to us and robs children of the opportunity to become responsible.

If your child won't do ANYTHING without your constant reminders and nagging then you have trained your child well. Fortunately, you can motivate your child to step-up to the "responsibility plate" and I suggest sooner, rather than later.

Three Steps to Training Your Child to Hear You the First Time

Here are three simple steps in retraining your child to hear your requests the first time you ask:

  1. Say it once and once only. Make a commitment to bite you tongue in order to retrain your child to hear you the first time.

  2. Be prepared for your child to test you. I guarantee that your child is going to "forget" or not come when you call. The good news is that this suggests that you're on the right track. You and your child are stuck in a negative pattern and it won't change over night. Thus, stick with it. Your child is going to test you to make certain you mean business. So be consistent and follow through.

  3. Use commonsense consequences to follow through. Commonsense consequences guide your child to learn from their actions. In order to be effective the consequence needs to be related to their behavior. For example if your child should forget her lunch let her figure out the solution on her own. Yes, she may go hungry OR she will likely decide to ask for handouts from friends. Even if she were to go without lunch (one skipped meal is not going to starve her), this lesson will provide motivation to remember the next time (much more than any amount of reminders you can give).

The above suggestions are simple; yet, it doesn't mean that they are easy. Be gentle with yourself while going through the growing pains of change. With consistency, you'll be amazed at how eliminating reminders can quickly heal your child's selective deafness.


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Kelly Nault, MA award winning parenting of When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You inspires moms to put themselves first—for the sake of their children. She shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! Sign up for her free online parenting course here.

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