Top 10 Parenting Tips for
Good Parenting
Even
though we need a license to do many things in life—everything
from driving and operating a forklift to practicing medicine
and fishing—there is no license required when it
comes to parenting.
And parenting today is far more
difficult and very different than it was only a generation
ago. Many well intentioned moms are still using outdated parenting
skills and tools that simply do not work consistently. As
a result, these moms experience frustration, stress and 'mommy
guilt' on a daily basis!
Fortunately, there is an approach to parenting
development that consistently makes effective, good parenting
a reality. I call it “Ultimate Parenting”. This
time-tested, child-proofed approach brings out your very best
so you can bring out the best in your children!
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Does “Good
Parenting” Really Exist?
Good parenting does exist, but it is, unfortunately, not the
norm.
Normally, well-meaning parents struggle with
their children's common behavior problems using discipline
techniques that deliver inconsistent results and fail to teach
children how to learn from their mistakes. Many commonly
used forms of discipline and punishment actually lead to more
misbehavior and only teach children to not get caught next
time!
For me (and the moms I counsel), good parenting
is about bringing out the very best in your children using techniques that
teach them respect, responsibility
and compassion.
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Top 10 Tips for
Good Parenting
The key to parenting success? Start following
these top 10 parenting tips below and you will actually
motivate your children to want to be well behaved!
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Tip #1 – If you
love your kids—put yourself first!
Far too many children are living with a mom who is unhappy,
frazzled and stressed out. Children flourish when they are
raised in a home with happy, balanced parents. The best way
to give more to your children is by giving more to yourself:
by doing this, you can become a valuable role model for them
of a happy, healthy adult.
Giving more to you also means you'll be able
to give more to your family. “But I don’t have
time!,” I hear many moms whine. We all have 24 hours
in a day, and we all need to make wise choices that put the
main priorities in our life first. If we are repeatedly burning
the midnight oil, we may be on the brink of burnout—not
a pleasant event for you or your family.
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Tip #2 – If you are
married—put your marriage before your kids!
Most of us have heard of
Generation X and Generation Y. But did you realize that Generation
S—Generation Spoiled—is on the rise? Many children
today are raised with an unhealthy sense of entitlement because
their family has made them the center of the universe. And
with divorce statistics still hovering at 50%, children are
far too often coping with unhappy, failing marriages.
A key to good parenting is to have a happy
marriage in which your children can thrive—a partnership
which they can use as a model for their future relationships.
Take a stand and put some time into your marriage—for
your family’s sake!
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Tip #3 – Cherish
your children.
No
matter what your situation—no matter how often your
children drive you crazy—know there are thousands of
women in this world who would gladly trade places with you
in a heartbeat. There are women who would give anything to
have a child period. Strive to remember how truly fortunate
you are.
Hug your children at least three times a
day. Tell them often how grateful you are to have the opportunity
to be their parent and to become a better woman—and
mother—for it!
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Tip #4 – Teach your
kids to fish (rather than fish for them).
Many moms (and dads) do
everything for their kids. This only robs their children of
the opportunity to learn self-reliance—a vital key to
their self-esteem. One of the best things you can do is to
help your kids learn how to do for themselves.
Chapter seven of my
award winning book,
When
You’re About to Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take
Your Kids With You
is called "How To Get Your Kids Doing Their Chores
Smiling". Some parents think I am from another planet
when I even suggest that kids can learn to do chores with
a smile on their face. But then they are happily amazed when
they see it is possible. Keeping house (washing dishes, doing
laundry, housecleaning, etc.) can teach them basic life skills
everyone needs to know. And chores give children the opportunity
to contribute to the household in a positive way. Watch your
kids flourish when you guide them to contribute in meaningful
ways to you and your family!
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Tip #5 – Focus on
what you like (instead of what you don’t like).
If children aren't being appreciated
and aren't getting attention for what they do well—and
when they behave well—you better believe they will learn
to get attention for not behaving well!
The more you notice what you like about what
they're doing, the more you will inspire your child to repeat
their good behaviors and achievements.
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Tip #6 – Give
respect and respect it in return.
Don’t do anything to your child that you wouldn’t
want your child to do to you. The list of things you don’t
want to be doing includes yelling, hitting, spitting, making
fun of people and putting others down. There are far better
ways for you to handle conflict, stress and common misbehaviors.
Commit to learning these “Ultimate Parenting”
tools that are based on mutual respect.
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Tip #7 – A family
that plays together stays together!
Have fun—play with your kids! Laughing,
tickling, and playing together is the foundation of a happy
home. Having fun can go a long way in providing your family
with much needed quality time and in preventing much of the
needless conflict and behaviors that drive you crazy. Children
who experience a regular dose of quality time with their parents
do not need to act out to get their attention.
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Tip #8 – Pick your
fights wisely and fight honorably.
Kids need to feel in control of certain areas of their life.
They also need boundaries. Create family rules but ensure that
there is flexibility too. For instance a family rule might be
that the common areas of the home need to be clean before bed,
but the tidiness of the children’s room are left up to
them (as you can always shut their bedroom door if the lack
of order really bugs you). Fights are based upon two people
with opposing views—sometimes a third way can be found
that works for both you and your child. Look to find this alternate
way. If there is no third way agreeable to both you and your
child ensure you present your request in a firm but gentle manner.
Remember to stay focused on the issue rather than trying to
be right!
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Tip #9 – Say what
you are going to do and stick to it.
Most parents unknowingly teach their kids
to not listen to them. If you consistently repeat yourself
and then don’t follow through on what you've said, you
are teaching your kids to ignore you (and especially to ignore
you the first time you say you're going to do something).
If you are not going to do what you say your are going to
do—you are basically teaching your children that your
word is muck and can’t be trusted. By following through
on your word consistently you will begin to pave the road
that leads to your children hearing you the first time.
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Tip #10 – Find Your
G-Spot!
In
my book
When
You're About to Go Off The Deep End, Don't Take Your Kids
With You
, I talk about the importance of
finding what I call your God-Spot. Whatever higher power you
believe in, having faith that things will all work out in
the end goes a long way to getting you through those “deep
end” moments.
Face it. You are going to mess up some days!
There will also be days when you just want to cry. So hang
on to your faith. When the unexpected happens, it may be all
you have to help you make it through.
Mastering these top 10 parenting tips for
good parenting takes time. But the more you learn, the easier
and more enjoyable your family life can become. My “Ultimate
Parenting” approach is really based on common sense—but
it achieves uncommon results. Many of the moms who have read
my book
When
You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take
Your Kids With You
tell me how amazed they are at
how effectively the tools bring out the best within them and
the best within their children.
These top 10 parenting tips for good
parenting take time to learn! Start mastering them today by
signing up for our
free
online parenting tips course here!
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