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Parenting
Bedtime Nightmare Over: How to Deal with Bedtime, Kids,
Discipline and Fast!
By Kelly Nault. M.A.
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When
parents say, “It’s bedtime, kids!” discipline frequently
follows.
If any (or all!) of the following sound familiar, know you’re
not alone:
• “One more story…pleassssse!”
• “I need another glass of water.”
• “Can I stay up just 15 more minutes?”
Bedtime delays are an epidemic problem that plagues most
households. If it’s not one more story, it’s “ten more minutes”
of their favorite show or dawdling in the bathroom. We’ve all
been there.
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Bedtime + Kids + Discipline + Anger = Parenting Chaos
When your child puts
up a fight at bedtime, responding with anger can often create
even more problems. Your best bet is to be firm, yet loving.
How?
One of the most effective parenting methods I have found is outlined on
page 152 of my book When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End,
Don’t Take Your Kids With You. Here it is:
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1. Tell Your Child What You Are
Going To Do.
Say something like, “Part of what I love to do with you is read
stories at bedtime, but sometimes I feel frustrated when bedtime
takes a lot longer than it needs to be. So from now on, I will
be at your bedside promptly at ____PM to tuck you in. If you are
not there at that time all ready to be tucked in, I will start
getting ready for bed myself. If you would like a hug you can
come and find me for a quick one, but I will not return to your
room.”
2.
Parenting Follow Through.
As stated be in their room on time. Give them one five-minute
warning if you feel it is necessary (although it is not). If
they are not ready, leave and be prepared to keep your mouth
shut at all costs, regardless of tears, angry words or pleas to
be tucked in. Go into the bathroom, lock the door, and get
yourself ready for bed. Give one hug if they ask, then continue
with your tasks. If they try to get you involved, simply say,
“I’ll be happy to speak with you in the morning. Sweet dreams.”
And that is all.
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Responding to
difficulties in this way encourages your children to be punctual
and when it comes to bedtime.
Kids’ discipline doesn’t have to be harsh to be effective. Going
to bed without a story is a commonsense consequence that results
from bedtime dawdling. Usually, even a small consequence like
this is enough to encourage your son or daughter to make good
time management choices the next night.
Dealing
with the Boogieman
Fears are natural, and your children will face many throughout
their lifetime. The best thing you can do is to help them learn
to deal with these fears, including the fears they face at
bedtime.
Take time to understand your son’s or daughter’s fears, and
validate their feelings—but stay firm on the need for them to
stay in their own room at night.
Instead of letting them take refuge in your room, help them find
ways of making it safe. Each time your child comes into your
room, take them back to their own room and stay with them for a
couple of minutes. Tell them that you have faith in their
ability to handle the situation. Instead of telling them there
is no boogieman, ask them what the boogieman is like, why he is
there, and what he wants.
You can even brainstorm with your child possible ways to live
together peacefully with this creature. Suggest writing a note
to the boogieman or visualizing a magical fortress that protects
their bed. When they make it through a night on their own,
encourage them.
Silent Night…All Is Calm in Parenting World
With a little bit of practice, nighttime doesn’t have to be
fight time at your house. You don’t have the fear the words,
“It’s bedtime, kids!” Discipline and angry words aren’t good
approaches, but gentle, loving, firm patience that encourages
your child to make good decisions is right on target.
Before you know it, bedtime dawdling will be gone for good!
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Kelly Nault, MA award winning parenting author of When You’re
About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You
inspires moms to put themselves first—for the sake of their
children. She shares time-tested tools that motivate children to
want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! Sign up for her
free online parenting course here.
You are
free
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remain as written and include a link to
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© 2005-06 Ultimate Parenting.
All rights reserved. |
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