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On the eve of my baby’s due date,
I am unable to sleep. With baby moving in my belly, Braxton
Hicks contractions spontaneously occurring (that often render me
helpless, like a beetle on it's back waving its legs), and the
enormous pressure in my pelvis that whisks me off to the toilet
only to expel an unimpressive thimble full of pee every 15
minutes…I reflect upon the following 10 best parenting advice
and pregnancy resources I received.
Pregnancy Tip
1:
Learn to love your belly:
Strangers on the street exclaimed,
“Wow! Are you big! Must be any day now,” when I was a mere four
months pregnant. After months of experiencing a pang of panic
each time I caught a glimpse of my reflection, I finally came to
love my belly in a pregnancy photo shoot my girlfriend gave to
me. The photographer was so supportive that I finally began to
see myself how others did—a beautiful pregnant woman.
Pregnancy Tip
2:
Beg and borrow maternity clothes:
No matter how ugly and how
huge some of the maternity pieces seem, accept them all. You
truly don't know how big you may get and how comfortable those
hideous panels might be later on. Put away your pre-pregnancy
clothes once you grow out of them so you aren’t constantly
grieving the loss of your old wardrobe.
Pregnancy Tip
3:
Let go of your due date:
Did you know only 4% of babies are
born on their actual due date? Who knew! Once I found out that
it is perfectly normal for a baby to arrive anytime between 37
and 42 weeks of pregnancy, I let go of my due date altogether
and followed the scout motto of “be prepared” (at any time
during that five week window).
Pregnancy Tip
4:
Learn to enjoy your admiring public:
Yes, strangers will sometimes see
your belly as public property and dish out a host of comments
and advice. My husband helped me to start having fun with this
new celebrity status. For instance after being annoyed by
comments such as, "Looks like your due any time now!" my husband
suggested I say things like, "Yup, any minute now!" or even
joke, "Can you believe I'm not due for another 8 months?!" The
fact of the matter is most people actually mean well—this
milestone in your life brings up fond memories for them.
Pregnancy Tip
5:
Find a health care practitioner you love:
The ups and downs of your
pregnancy require special support and pregnancy resources. Find
someone who welcomes your questions, puts your fears to rest and
supports you in having the best pregnancy and delivery you can.
For me I found this support in my midwives who gave me one hour
session and even made house calls. Plus, once I found out my
midwives’ statistics on c-sections, forceps use and episiotomies
I was hooked! Other friends hired a doula (birth coach), or had
a doctor they loved, and were thrilled with the care they
received.
Pregnancy Tip
6:
Listen and learn to trust your body:
Surrendering to my cravings
(turkey sandwiches with cranberry sauce and chocolate ice
cream), the need of extra sleep (sometimes I would simply sit
down to rest and suddenly wake up two hours later!) and being
gentle with myself was what got me through.
Also, reading parenting books
like The Girlfriends Guide… (for the humor and practicality), to
fabulous hardcore midwifery books like Ina May's Guide To
Pregnancy (my favorite) helped me to learn to trust my body more
than ever before. These books (another good one was Birthing
From Within) helped to dissolve many of my fears, as I learned
things like no matter how big your baby is, babies heads are
mostly around the same size, and are designed by nature to make
the journey through the birth canal.
Pregnancy Tip
7:
Find other pregnant women and hang out with them:
My pre-natal exercise class
is a real pregnancy resource blessing. Not only am I getting fit
but I found a sense of belonging, where I could really let my
belly hang out with the best of them. Whenever I began to pity
myself (like on an especially nauseous day) I would find another
pregnant woman who was going through a tougher situation (like
kidney stones or painful hemorrhoids!), or a real trouper in
class would say something that lifted my spirits. Plus, by
finding other pregnant women I saved my non-pregnant friends the
hassle of listening to me share every play-by-play experience of
my pregnancy—which likely saved a few of my friendships. ;-)
Pregnancy Tip
8:
Spend money only on the baby things that will make a real
difference to you and borrow or buy the rest second-hand:
Babies don’t care about paint
chips and décor, only about being close to the milk source—you!
The fact they will rapidly grow out of any and all clothes
helped put my priorities in order. So we splurged on the things
that mattered to me: the stroller (as I am a huge walker), a
safe car seat (for obvious reasons) and a rocker/glider (once I
realized that I could be feeding up to twelve hours a day for
the first six weeks).
The rest we either borrowed or
bought second–hand, and we saved a mint! By getting so many
great deals from places like eBay, and going to local ‘mothers
of multiples’ sales I saved enough to put away for extra
cleaning hours, and a special service to bring meals in during
the first three months of our child’s life.
Pregnancy Tip
9:
‘Morning sickness’ can happen at anytime!:
Morning sickness can happen
at any hour of the day, all day or not at all. Fortunately not
often, it can even creep into the second or third trimester like
it did with me.
Pregnancy Tip
10:
Everyone's experience of pregnancy is different, so take what is
useful and ignore the rest:
So many
experiences and so many people dishing out advice. What I have
observed is that pregnancy for the most part is the great
equalizer—if you don't get something on one end you'll likely
get something on the other. Fortunately, whatever our
pregnancy experience may be, the majority of us end up with a
little bundle of joy that makes the journey worth all the
effort.
I am off to
bed now to join my sleeping husband and my five pillows that
prop up my bountiful belly, my buxom boobs and weary head. As I
go off to sleep, I go with gratitude in my heart, knowing that
soon we will be welcoming a beautiful new addition into our
little family. This truly is the greatest parenting miracle of
all. |